Thinking (again!)

So as I'm playing games on Facebook instead of doing anything constructive, I got to thinking ... are there any blog etiquette items I should be aware of? I mean, can I have a thought and stop what I'm doing and run to my computer to post it? I have a terrible memory and if I want to catch stuff I need to post several times a day. Is that overkill? LOL

The picture here is of me and my sister Barb on Thanksgiving. I'm in the black and blue shirt. :-) As for my weight loss journey - let me tell you a little about it. I've finally decided that I need weight loss surgery. I spoke with my doctor about it almost a year ago and my medical group requires a six month set of 'classes' all about bariatric surgery. I'm not going into this lightly (no pun intended but it worked out well if I really did mean it that doesn't it?) I'll be 50 next month and I want the second half of my life to be spent active and more awesome than the first half. I started motorcycling almost 2 years ago and now I'm tackling the weight issue.

I'm over my 6 months of 'bariatric education' and I've met with the surgeon. I've had my endoscopy, gotten a biopsy to rule out Barrett's esophagus (will know more about results next week) and on Tuesday I'm meeting with the psychologist. I'm hoping to get a surgery date soon. I'm not looking forward to the two week liquid diet my doctor has his patients do prior to surgery but I am looking forward to the entire 'after' of my life spent in a new way.

I'm hoping to have the 'sleeve gastrectomy' this is a procedure where they just cut off 3/4 of your stomach and what is left is shaped like a small banana instead of a football. There is no bypass of the stomach in this surgery. I'm not sure if my insurance plan covers this particular surgery so again, I don't know for sure what type I'll be having but that is my current 'plan' as it were. My goal with this is to loose between 100 - 125 lbs.

For those of you who don't know me, I've always been a bit heavy and I don't mind curves or even those pesky few extra 5 - 10 lbs. but in the last few years I've put on more weight than I can take off. Dieting can help me loose 20-30 lbs which is great but I can never keep it off. This is drastic measure yes but I've thought about it for about 2 years now and it is my choice.

As for love, well, I'm not in love with myself at this weight and it is really hard to open up for love when you don't love what you have to offer. I guess I need to clarify - I do love myself and so much about me, just not my weight and how I look with the weight.

And talking about weight - weight and fat are funny things. Some people are blubbery fat while others may weight more but don't look it in the least. And numbers - my god - during my class, I saw a few others weigh in and I weighed 30 lbs more than they did and they looked so much heavier than me. We all carry it so differently.

OK enough ... I need to go get dressed and brush my teeth, after all it is almost 4 p.m. LOL And I just noticed there is spell check here .... thank you lord for that.